50 Compelling Reasons Why Jeff Bezos Himself Couldn’t Pay Me To Have Kids

I am selfish as fuck. And I do not believe the martyrdom of parenting will automatically make me a better person. In addition, I am the only one who gets to decide what makes me a better person.

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1. I want to die never learning how to change a diaper, and never giving myself the opportunity to do so either.
2. I hate the smell of baby oil, and all baby hygiene products. They smell like young, fresh life mixed with powder. Gross!
3. I enjoy my life, and I think it is quite silly to risk this one life giving birth to a child I don’t even want.
4. My childfree lifestyle pisses off people who view me as a manservant, incubator, and empty vessel that must be filled with the holy ghost, dick, or babies. And I love it.
5. Also, when I declare to the world that I am more than the sacrificial roles everyone demands of my womanhood, I am not being hypocritial. My single, childfree lifestyle is proof that I mean what I say, and I walk it like I talk it.
6. I really and truly do not believe any man on this earth is worth the sacrifice of my womb.
7. I don’t want to share my food with a kid.
8. I especially don’t want to share my money with a kid.