A Quick Message From Someone Who Tried To Commit Suicide On Their 16th Birthday

Are you okay? You had me worried sick!

My friend sent me this response after I shot him a quick text after a few days of no communication. I turned my phone off to process the fact that I was still alive after trying to commit suicide on my 16th birthday. I mourned my first near-death experience; Death and I almost became one, but I still was not close enough to be embraced by it.

For the first time in my entire life it rained on my 16th birthday. Actually, it was pouring outside while tears poured down my cheeks. I spent my birthday staring out of my bedroom window to mentally process what I was going to do later on.

I was going to end my existence. I was tired of this life. And I wanted out.

Later on, I closed my blinds and changed my clothes. My hands were shaking as I picked up the 64-ounce bottle of Clorox and put my face to the yellow liquid. The harsh chemicals overtook my nose as I took a small swig. My face scrunched up as I swallowed, and my chest immediately started burning.

I rationalized that it was too late to turn back now. I reached for some flavored rat poison pellets and chucked a few into my mouth. Then I consumed a little more bleach. More tiny green pellets filled my mouth while my body…