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As A Slim Black Woman, I Give Up On Trying To Be Thick

Sanni Lark
6 min readJul 24, 2022

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Credit: Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

“Ugh, I’m hungry. I hate being hungry! Who made this shit up?!” I exclaimed as I grabbed a carton of organic eggs from my fridge. I immediately started chuckling, realizing that I was talking to myself instead of a god who believed the design of hunger in human beings to not be inconvenient.

I hate being hungry. It feels so damn uncomfortable. And like many others, I can only ignore hunger for so long until my stomach starts growling at me. I hate that hunger reminds me of a small child, and I must stop whatever I am doing to tend to its needs or else there are unpleasant consequences. Not only that, but I despise the necessary chores surrounding hunger, such as washing utensils, pots, and plates, packing away any leftovers, and reheating those leftovers. And the cycle begins over and over again until I die.

Cooking sometimes feels like a chore as well, depending on what mood I am in. This is why I used to spend around $30-$40 a day on DoorDash.

While I was scrambling my eggs I began to daydream about a pill that contained a few hundred calories which can be added to my daily caloric intake. I have been trying to build muscle for the past few months, but I haven’t gained any weight because I do not possess an appetite large enough to significantly move the scale.

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Sanni Lark
Sanni Lark

Written by Sanni Lark

Channeling sacred, unadulterated, feminine chaos and wisdom through writing. For more primordial womanhood activation visit: https://www.sannilark.com

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