Member-only story
Black Love: The Romantic Trauma Bond That Prevents Black Women From Thriving
Skin color is not an end-all-be-all death sentence. It doesn’t make or break anything. You will be surprised at how freeing it is to explore a whole ‘nother world in a man who doesn’t look like you.
From since I was a child I never understood the feverish obsession many black girls and women around me had regarding securing their black knight under the mistletoe known as black love. I always held the belief that love should always transcend skin color, race, gender, and other physical factors and societal constructs that we feel are important to love someone.
Life encourages us to love anyone, since our existence and value spans beyond this physical body to begin with.
If you ask me, sharing the same skin color with a potential partner doesn’t mean shit. Being two “hue”mans doesn’t mean you two are compatible. Sharing the same race doesn’t equate to a passionate romance that helps you two grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple. Actually, I find that many black women use black men as trophies to validate their ability to secure black love, not based on anything that spans beyond the overinflated ego of showing off and comparing themselves to other women, whether single or partnered with nonblack men. It’s very superficial and, dare I say, idiotic.
