But Seriously Though, Why The Hell Do Women Want To Be Wives?

“I would be doing any man I’m with a disservice by pretending I want to spend forever in his arms, all while plotting to leave him after the slightest inconvenience.”

I came across a column where a married woman wrote a sob story about how she was no longer interested in having sex with her husband. Apparently he gained quite a bit of weight over the years and got too fat for her tastes. She did mention he was a bit pudgy when she first met him and he was supportive when she was trying to lose weight after having their first child.

I rolled my eyes and concluded she was an idiot. I know, I know. I’m being a bitch. But hear me out.

What the fuck do people think growing old with someone entails? That the man or woman you met at 25 will be the same person at 55? That they will weigh the same, have the same religious beliefs, maintain the same diet and exercise regimen, only receive salary increases for as long as they’re working, see life the exact same way, and never, ever change? What exactly are they expecting after having kids? Once their parents pass away? After a car accident? Job loss? Money issues? Once a loved one receives a serious health diagnosis?

There was a man I used to follow on Instagram years ago. One Sunday afternoon he did a live podcast…