Can Trauma Be The Reason Why Some Women Refuse To Decorate Their Homes?
If you do not feel safe within the four walls where you are your most vulnerable, where can you feel like yourself?
From since I was a little girl I oftentimes fantasized about owning my own home and living alone. This home was supposed to serve as my very own fortress against a world that has psychologically traumatized me as punishment for being born a woman, as well as the physical, sexual, spiritual, mental, and emotional abuse I endured from childhood in the very home I grew up in.
I mean, if you do not feel safe within the four walls where you are your most vulnerable, where can you feel like yourself?
Even though I have been an adult woman for quite some time I continue to struggle emotionally with grounding myself in my home as my permanent abode because I am always expecting instability in some form or fashion. I am not sure if this feeling of instability is a trauma response or just my personality, because I am never satisfied with living in one place for a long time. After a few years of refusing to emotionally settle into my place by making it my own I am ready to up and leave.
I may call it an upgrade, but maybe there are deeper roots to all of this?
