Can Trauma Be The Reason Why Some Women Refuse To Decorate Their Homes?

Sanni Lark
3 min readSep 13, 2024

If you do not feel safe within the four walls where you are your most vulnerable, where can you feel like yourself?

Credit: Ksenia Chernaya via Pexels

From since I was a little girl I oftentimes fantasized about owning my own home and living alone. This home was supposed to serve as my very own fortress against a world that has psychologically traumatized me as punishment for being born a woman, as well as the physical, sexual, spiritual, mental, and emotional abuse I endured from childhood in the very home I grew up in.

I mean, if you do not feel safe within the four walls where you are your most vulnerable, where can you feel like yourself?

Even though I have been an adult woman for quite some time I continue to struggle emotionally with grounding myself in my home as my permanent abode because I am always expecting instability in some form or fashion. I am not sure if this feeling of instability is a trauma response or just my personality, because I am never satisfied with living in one place for a long time. After a few years of refusing to emotionally settle into my place by making it my own I am ready to up and leave.

I may call it an upgrade, but maybe there are deeper roots to all of this?

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Sanni Lark

Channeling sacred, unadulterated, feminine chaos and wisdom through writing. For more primordial womanhood activation visit: https://www.sannilark.com