Celibacy For The Wise Woman

“A huge part of discovering who I was outside of pleasing men who didn’t give a fuck about me was really understanding my body and how it responds to the trauma I’ve been exposed to since I was a little girl.”

My decision to be celibate came about when I needed to take time to completely focus on myself, my goals, and my spiritual, mental, and emotional growth. I had a lot to unpack, and I really couldn’t hone in on any much-needed life lessons while being disappointed yet again in another man. I was done.

I came to the conclusion that a lot of these men aren’t even qualified to touch me anyway, let alone have my attention.

Truthfully, there was a lot of shame I had to sit with and process because I didn’t have the love life I thought I deserved. But really, I didn’t deserve shit.

I was conditioned to be with abusive males, but even when I knew what was going on I kept rewarding them for traumatizing me again and again. And again. In addition, I had a lot of self-hate to dig through. Because it isn’t fair for me to expect any man to rescue me from myself. So I had to be my own therapist by exploring what was buried in my subconscious. I had to learn how to be my own best friend. With the difficult process of grounding myself in acceptance and self-love I finally cracked the code and broke the pattern of not giving a…