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Evolving From Perfectionism, Being Put On Pedestals I Didn’t Ask For, And The Burden Of Not Being Invisible
I am learning that following myself is me being enough. That’s the highest version of myself worth loving, and honoring, and respecting, and cherishing.
I struggle with perfectionism that cripples me emotionally, because I see everyone else as perfect except for me. It’s strange, if I saw myself walking down the street I would be in awe of who I am. But I am not a stranger minding my business. I know myself. I am familiar with all of the traumas, and the hurt, and of course the memories, haunting memories of not being enough for others which follow me, and even have me asking myself if I am enough to create a life worth living.
But that’s the thing: nobody is perfect, and imperfect people feel deserving all the time. They don’t moralize their feelings of being deserving, especially with fantasies of achieving something that doesn’t exist like perfectionism. They just follow their hearts. And I am learning to do the same. I am learning that following myself is me being enough. That’s the highest version of myself worth loving, and honoring, and respecting, and cherishing.
Being that I consciously understand how being perfect doesn’t mean shit and yet I still feel the sting of my past stints with chasing perfection…
