Fat Loved Ones, Extreme Dieting, And How Slim Women Can Be Better Allies

“I need to lose 100 pounds,” my manager said to me one slow, sunny afternoon in her office. My eyes retreated to the large pink rose quartz stone I bought her for Christmas as my ears attempted to process what I just heard.

“100 pounds?! Why? That’s a lot of weight!” I asked, trying to disguise my shock with a more diplomatic tone.

“Because…I just need to lose that much weight,” she responded softly. I watched her body as we spoke. My manager’s body language was always so confident and sure of herself. But at the time her shoulders slumped, as if she was silently admitting defeat.

This woman was a six figure earner with a mean shoe game who took Peloton classes after work and dined at the most exclusive restaurants in New York City. Her lifestyle was enviable. As an employee who looked up to her this conversation was particularly difficult to process. While my manager existed in a larger body it never occurred to me that she struggled with her weight. She always looked so happy and comfortable in her skin. I didn’t give a damn about her size and what the rest of the world thought of it. She was the poster girl of wellness in my eyes. I found myself retreating to her office multiple times a day to inhale various essential oils and receive advice on nutrition and mental…