I Dress Up And Look Good For Me, Not Men

Sanni Lark
4 min readSep 8, 2021

“I love myself enough to wear clothing that flatters me and shows off my creativity. I do not give the attention or opinions of men a thought (or care) as I am carefully selecting what I should put on for the day.”

“You look so nice today. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Wow, look at you! Are you going on a date?”

I used to have one coworker who made it his civic duty to compliment me whenever I felt well enough to dress up for work. Having a job depressed the hell out of me, but I would find the strength to put on some heels and a dress or skirt every once in a blue moon.

Besides this coworker, I noticed that most compliments I received from people were tied in with men in some way. Even though their words seemed innocent, it was assumed that I put forth effort into my appearance solely to be noticed by my gender counterpart.

While I may admit that my style might be considered eclectic to some, I hate drawing attention to myself. Weird, huh? Being stylish usually equates to a desire to get compliments. But I really don’t like the general public. I can’t stand leaving my house. I have a phobia of people. But when I do go out I like to look my best. And it’s not because I am fishing for attention. It just makes me feel good about myself.

I belong to a small group of women who really do take pride in their appearance just for the sake of it. Most people don’t believe this. And I actually don’t blame them.

A lot of women desire to be in relationships. So they beautify themselves in a way to be noticed by their potential future boyfriend or husband. I knew a woman who admitted that she always took a man’s gaze into consideration when she dressed herself and expressed her femininity. She grew her hair longer for men. Consciously kept her teeth white to please men. And wore certain lipstick colors to attract men and not draw them away. One time we were getting ready for a night out. I had to help her choose between five nail polish colors, ranging from bubblegum pink to a siren red. Why? Because she wanted men to see her in a certain way, and her nail polish had to reflect this.

I actually do not have an issue with women who make men the center of their world. I think it is natural to desire…

Sanni Lark

Channeling sacred, unadulterated feminine chaos and wisdom through writing. For more primordial womanhood activation visit: https://www.sannilark.com