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Journal Entry #17: I Have Absolutely No Motivation To Enter 2022
“I oftentimes get tired of the daily pursuit of money and vanity like everyone else. I honor these thoughts with no shame because they don’t last forever and I don’t act on them. They exist for me to observe, acknowledge, and move on from.”
I’m tired.
I know, I know. I’m too young to be tired, correct? But this is my truth.
The only reason I may make it to see January 1, 2022 is because my body refuses to just die on me. Other than that I could care less about entering this new year. There is no bone in my body that is excited or even ready to tackle it.
No, I’m not depressed. I’m not suicidal. I’m just fucking tired. Lately I’ve been opening my eyes and thinking, “Damn. Another day.”
A part of my overwhelming exhaustion is due to my inability to just take a few days off to simply do nothing. Even when I “take time off” I must at least do the bare minimum or my brain won’t shut up about it.
It is a blessing and a curse to be disciplined. Crossing off my tasks for the day brings me satisfaction, but even the feeling of accomplishment does not rejuvenate my body or mind. Many times it’s straight up frustrating, as I just want to remain in my bed for days at a time. But I know just lazing around will bring me…
