Is “Everybody Is Beautiful!” Doing More Harm Than Good?

“She has white girl lips.”

One Saturday afternoon my mother convinced the family to visit her elderly friend who resided in a nursing home. So after lunch the four of us hopped in a car and drove to meet her.

We took the elevator up to her unit and we were greeted by a friendly woman in a wheelchair. My mother was excited to see her and immediately embraced her friend. My father inched closer and said hello with a smile. Chris, being the coldest, most non-affectionate one in the family, politely said “Hey” while maintaining his distance. I followed my mother’s gesture and gave her a big hug. She had a warmth about her that I liked.

After laughing and talking for a few moments we decided to leave. Everyone, including my brother, gave her a hug. When I reached to embrace her she held me and turned to my mother.

“Your daughter, she’s so cute. She has white girl lips,” the woman said with a chuckle.

I wasn’t offended, but I was humored by her interpretation of my facial features. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder why she would say such a thing.

When I got home I looked in the mirror with my mother’s friend’s words still on my mind. My reflection confirmed that while I had noticeably “black” features like a large nose and big…