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Rethinking Attractiveness: Do Men Want To Control Beautiful Women?

Sanni Lark
3 min readAug 12, 2024

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As human beings we still don’t know how to find someone attractive without believing we are entitled to romantic or sexual access to them. We’re such a bunch of control freaks!

Credit: Duren Williams via Pexels

The dark, unspoken side of finding someone attractive is that you usually create a fantasy in your head with them that always benefits you, and you expect this fantasy to play out in real life. This is why women are quick to imagine marrying the handsome man they met at the grocery store, or why men gather to play smash or pass featuring female celebrities they will never, ever have a chance in hell with.

The disappointment, or even anger, unfolds when you come to find out that handsome man at Whole Foods is gay, or per my example that gorgeous young lady at the convenience store won’t give you a chance because you happen to be a black man and she prefers vanilla over chocolate. Or, the woman you were lusting over doesn’t give men under six feet tall the time of day. Or a man prefers thicker, curvier women and you happen to be slim.

This is when we feel obligated to create whole social justice movements out of our entitlement, with claims of discrimination or some “ism” or phobia because there is this ridiculous narrative that as humans we all deserve to fall in love no matter what we look like when none of…

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Sanni Lark
Sanni Lark

Written by Sanni Lark

Channeling sacred, unadulterated, feminine chaos and wisdom through writing. For more primordial womanhood activation visit: https://www.sannilark.com

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