Sorry Christians, But Nobody Wants To Spend Eternity In Heaven With You

“It’s just that I am not living a life so miserable that I look forward to an eternal paradise where I can be happy 24/7.”

“I’m on the highway to hell.”

Highway to Hell, AC/DC

In a weird sort of way, I have a soft spot for Christians even though I talk a lot of shit about the faith. This may be because I grew up in the Christian church and I know many kind-hearted, loving people who happen to be followers of Christ. I want to believe that there are some Christians out there who mean well when they spread the “good news” of how Jesus loves us, and if we accept him as our Lord and Savior we will have a chance to enter the pearly gates and live forever in paradise where there exists no sickness, war, pain, tears, or death.

Maybe it’s just me, but if I had to spend an infinite amount of time with some of the people who claim they are going to heaven I would have to be kicked out for all the tears I would shed!

I am really not trying to be mean, but this needs to be said: some of y’all are annoying as hell. Please stop singing hymns on the trains. Public transportation does not exist as an alternate house of worship. Please quit blurting out random Bible scriptures when you are out and about in the public square. And please…