Journal Entry #23: The Art Of Playing The Long Game With Life

“There is no need to do the absolute most for an extended period of time with anything, as even the spiritual laws dictate that there are times when we should push ourselves to our limits and times when we should rest.”

June, my birthday month, was eventful and successful. I published 18 articles a week for that month, or three articles a day six days a week. This was the most I have worked, ever; I usually post anywhere between 1–3 articles a day based on my emotions or if I am inspired to do so. But to celebrate and bring in a new year of life with a bang, I decided to put my feelings to the side and function as a writing machine for 30 days. And in this new month I pretty much feel dead.

I cannot find my will to write. I cannot find my motivation. I lost it. It’s in the toilet or the trash somewhere. It’s like, I know I need to write something, anything! But all I can do is stare at my MacBook screen, and wonder what the hell I am doing here.

Suddenly I am fearful of the future. Suddenly I regret not being employed at someone’s job, because getting paid no matter how much or how little effort you exert every day feels like child’s play compared to showing up for yourself day in and day out, whether you feel like it or not.