The Shame Of Knowing Better As A Woman

“You did the best with what you had at the time, which was barely anything.”

I came across a tweet from Jayda Cheaves, also known as Jayda Wayda. She writes, “Had I loved me better I wouldn’t have been in most of the situations I’ve been in.”

This post really touched me, because I sense that many women beat themselves up mentally and emotionally about the mistakes they’ve made over the years. I can say the same about myself.

One of the hardest things about growing as a woman is looking back at all the experiences we felt we could’ve saved ourselves from. Many of us engage in internal dialogue that looks something like this:

If only I didn’t give that man my phone number.

If only I stood up for myself.

Why didn’t I leave? I saw all the red flags!

I should’ve prioritized my safety.

I should’ve pursued that career instead.

I should’ve left them alone.

Why did I allow them to disrespect me?

Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing. You can emotionally abuse yourself and be your worst enemy, or you can choose to continually show yourself grace and compassion whenever those self-loathing thoughts come up.

Forgive yourself for not being your own best friend. Give yourself a hug.