When Archaic Values Become Obsolete: Examining The Men Who Are Being Left Behind In The 21st Century
“A lot of you ladies are going to be single for the rest of your life. Simply because you value everything else more than having a man. You value your education, your career, your friends, attention, money, shit some of y’all value your damn pets more than men. You’ll work hard for everything else in your life. But will put little to no effort into finding and keeping a man. If you don’t see the value in having a solid man by your side, then you lost in the sauce, baby.”
I woke up this morning well rested, anticipating a beautiful day ahead. Then I logged into Facebook and this status was the first thing I saw. A childfree group shared it, adding the commentary that they would certainly value everything else but “somebody’s son.”
I am noticing a mental shift in men nowadays. They are quickly realizing that the world is changing around them, and the majority of women are shifting their focus, expectations, and goals to keep up. This status summarizes the inner turmoil some men are experiencing as a result.
The Grass Was Greener in the Past
Women used to make men the center of their universe. From since they were little girls, their development was concentrated on being housewives and rearing a man’s children. Which made complete sense, as the men went to work to provide for their families. Women didn’t have many options for taking care of themselves without partners, so of course they obliged with the traditional gender roles.
They took etiquette classes or went to finishing school. Their mothers taught them how to prepare meals, keep a clean home, and probably even gave them tips and tricks on how to keep a man sexually satisfied so he wouldn’t step out of the marriage. I can tell that a lot of men in this day and age are longing for the “good ol’ days,” even though they weren’t even alive in this time period. But according to them, the grass was greener in the past. Women were respectful, submissive, obedient, and knew their place. And these modern women are a fucking riot!
The Digital Age
Fast forward to the 21st century. We are now living in the Information Age. The internet offers a plethora of opportunities for anyone to make money on a part-time or full-time basis. With the World Wide Web we are saying goodbye to the wage gap as YouTube, Patreon, Quora, Substack, and other platforms truly don’t give a fuck if you’re a man, woman, or alien.
In this century, the only thing people are seeking and supporting is value. If you can add value to the marketplace you can make a shit-load of money. Your clients, audience, and viewers only care to know if what you are producing is helping them. That’s it. Does it add to their lives? Can they learn from your experiences? Is your content making their lives better? Is it inspiring them to do more and be more?
But how does this apply to men?
When Having a Dick Between Your Legs Used To Matter
We are witnessing firsthand how men are clutching onto their manhood for dear life as they navigate a world which tells them that simply existing as a male isn’t going to cut it anymore. Nobody cares what the past looked like; we are quickly moving ahead and whoever wants to be left behind is free to do as they please.
Simply put, the man who does not progress and adapt to our new reality is becoming obsolete. In this era, women are competing right beside men for more money and promotions with no apology. We are purchasing homes on our own. No longer are working husbands looked at as retirement plans; we are learning to invest and build our nest eggs without them. Traveling the country and the world as a single woman is becoming the new trend. Women are forgoing marriage to pursue higher education and start businesses. The playing field is leveraged and there are no rules or barriers to entry.
And men are shaking in their Hanes boxers.
You see, women are placing their attention, money, effort, and time into what pays off for them and adds value to their lives. Like that man’s Facebook status, these things include education, friendships, family, pets, and careers. A woman can directly invest in these things and reap the benefits. Some women are not seeing as much ROI when it comes to investing their time, body, attention, and love into men, and so they are just leaving them the hell alone. And too many men foolishly believe that they actually add value to women, even though they don’t care to prove how.
Instead of Working on Themselves, Men Take The Easy Way Out To Become Doomsday Prophets for Single Women
Women don’t care as much about companionship as they did a few decades ago. Why? Because they don’t see the value in it. As a man, you have to adapt and redefine how your presence can benefit a woman instead of believing that all you have to do is exist and do the bare minimum. That’s not cutting it anymore.
“But you’re going to die alone” isn’t the threat it used to be. The single lifestyle is looking more appealing to women than ever before. So you can no longer dodge the inevitable with your doomsday quips. We are asking better questions and seeking better answers.
What is your skillset, and can I rely on you to take the initiative to fix problems as they come along?
Are you genuinely proud of me and my accomplishments? Do you secretly resent women and spend your time trying to sabotage them because it frustrates you to coexist with a self-reliant woman who doesn’t need you but want you?
Do you have the emotional maturity to deal with issues head-on and take responsibility, or are you going to gaslight me and avoid confrontation?
How can you make my life easier and more enjoyable?
Can I be vulnerable with you without the fear of my emotions being exploited for your personal gain? Are you trustworthy?
Are you a skilled lover who tailors the lovemaking experience to my preferences and desires, or do you not give a damn about my pleasure and simply look at my body as a human flesh light?
On an emotional level I do have a little bit of sympathy for the fellas out there. As a man you want to be needed and you want to feel like we still care. And some of us do. It’s just that there is a discrepancy between needing you and actually being happier, safer (and staying alive), wealthier, and more fulfilled by leaving you the fuck alone.
And yes, a woman would rather invest in a pet than in a boyfriend. At least Fido is not the biggest threat to her safety. You know you are becoming outdated when a woman would rather have a pet animal than a human man for companionship.
Originally published at https://www.sannilark.com on October 3, 2021.
